The Problem With Humility

Why New Zealanders playing things down isn’t all good.

I think I need to preface this piece with an oxymoron. The fact I’m writing a piece about kiwi humility, in itself is not very humble (a humblebrag if you will) — I acknowledge that, but I must go on.

People often arrive in the country and get the impression that most kiwis are kind, genuine, and humble. You can know someone for months before finding out they were a sprinter at the Olympics (and you only found out because one of their friends told you). This trait may seem endearing, sometimes it is, but sometimes it has a darker side. When people ask questions about how you are they genuinely mean it, they want to know how you are and they want to know how they can help, they don’t expect people to ask it back in some roundabout way to get their own story across. If you stay awhile in New Zealand, you’ll hear daily, ‘she’ll be right’. This means, ‘all will be okay’, often used to express something that probably isn’t okay, but maybe having the attitude that it is makes it so.

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However, there is a darker side to humility. With humility of achievement comes humility of struggles. People downplay or outright deny that they are going through tough times. Or they will play down their success in order to not make others feel less than. They will cut themselves at the knees before others have a chance to let them know they are too big for their boots. This is called ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’, it expresses the idea that if anyone is seen to be doing better than someone else they will be cut down to size. Thomasin McKenzie, a kiwi actress from Jojo Rabbit, Last Night in Soho, The Power of The Dog, and Eileen, has talked about it before on Stephen Colbert’s talk show.

Check out this clip of it on YouTube, watch from 4:26 onwards.

Tall Poppy Syndrome is rife in New Zealand and is having a greater negative impact on young people than initially thought. A group called E Tū Tāngata is trying to tackle the syndrome through a mindset shift starting in schools. They work with the high school I teach at, and what they speak of rings deeply true.

E tū is a command to stand.

Tāngata means people.

The slogan of E Tū Tāngata is ‘Stand Together’.

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New Zealand punches far above its weight, especially in the sporting world. For a country of 5 million in the South Pacific to produce a rugby team so successful they have become the winningest team in history — not just in rugby but in all sports is quite a feat! This article on what contributes to their success is a great read. But as I said earlier, this sporting success across multiple codes doesn’t just happen, the ability to put heads down and push through pain (though not always justified) plays a part. Suppressing hardship and struggle has claimed lives of kiwi athletes. Young people see the toughness of their idols and imitate their actions.

Once these kiwis are at the top and performing happily, their humility drives their success further in a beautiful way. Never getting complacent, always respecting opponents, and genuine unawareness of their stature plays a lovely part in the allure of our athletes. That’s one part of the humility I’m proud of (another humblebrag sorry). I think back to a few moments…

Steven Adams

Cricket

Māori All Blacks haka

Olympic runners

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Back to the downside I must go though. Tall Poppy Syndrome has said to cause entrepreneurship to suffer as outlined in an article by Sally Rae about research conducted in New Zealand about the phenomenon.

Most kiwis wouldn’t dare to brag or boast about their latest endeavour or accomplishment, and would squirm if someone else kindly brought it up. This creates issues surrounding self-promotion. Good sportspeople, artists, and entrepreneurs struggle to promote themselves or their work, therefore putting themselves on the back foot. These days is it possible to let the work talk for itself, does it have a loud enough voice in a world saturated with so much content? Maybe that is why the few kiwis that do find themselves on the world stage get lauded. Because their talent and dedication to their chosen craft got them there. Lorde, Jacinda Ardern, Stephen Adams, KJ Apa, Peter Jackson, Sir Edmund Hillary, Taika Waititi. (Another humblebrag, but at three already is it no longer humble?)

My concern and reason for writing this article is that I want to bring attention to the question:

Without self-promotion are kiwis going to be able to make a name for themselves?

What are your thoughts?